THE DEEP BLACK PIT OF TURMOIL, DESPAIR, AND LONELINESS
A Play in Two Point Three Seven Six Acts
By Eric Sleator McGill, Wes Boyer, Andrea Smith, and Cynthia Ailiff
DRAMATIS PERSONÆ
- FRIEDRICH IMMERDUNKEL
- Our hero of sorts. An everyman plagued by hopelessness.
- VERONIQUE DES LARMES
- A Parisian artist's model. A woman who hates God and wishes He would cut her some slack once in a while.
- JUANITA LAVIDACHUPA
- A janitor with a hidden secret. Oppressed by the ruling class.
- RUTHERFORD SADDEN
- A tourist from England. Trapped in a web of deceit and bitter towards authority figures.
- ONE TRAVEL AGENT
- TWO PILOTS
- TWO POLICE OFFICERS
- ONE SHADOWY FIGURE
- THIRTEEN MEN IN CHECKED SHIRTS
- TWO SMALL GIRLS
- ONE SMALL BOY
- ONE DOG (German Shepherd/Golden Retriever/Black Labrador mix)
- FOUR WOMEN WITH MATCHING SCARVES
- SIX WAITERS
- FIVE WAITRESSES
- NINE COOKS (Male)
- ONE DRUG LORD
- TWO OVERWEIGHT DEAD MEN
- ONE SOCCER MOM
- ONE ROCK-AND-ROLL BAND (One guitarist/vocalist [male], one bass guitarist/vocalist [female], one pianist [male], one drummer [male], one triangle-player [female])
- TWO VETERINARIANS
- ONE SCHOOLTEACHER (Female)
- GOD
ACT I
SCENE I
(A generic European street. Stage left is a small café surrounded by a fence overgrown with thorns. Stage right is a factory, perpetually churning smoke out its smokestack. Upstage is a large crow on a signpost. The signpost reads "PARIS 181 BERLIN 92 GENEVA 255 MADRID 16 MOSCOW 4" with each city name pointing in a different direction. The whole stage is lit in a harsh, unpleasant yellow light. A light fog gathers above the café. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, the yellow lights dim all around the stage except for over the café, where they brighten. FRIEDRICH IMMERDUNKEL and VERONIQUE DES LARMES are seated at a table, smoking cigarettes and drinking cheap wine.)
FRIEDRICH: Veronique des Larmes, why are you in despair?
VERONIQUE: (exhales cigarette smoke through nose) Whatever makes you think that I am in despair, Friedrich Immerdunkel?
FRIEDRICH: You make me chuckle. You are clearly in despair. Your body radiates despair, from the saddened way you slouch your shoulders to the strong aroma of nicotine and tobacco that hovers about you at all hours.
VERONIQUE: I can see nothing may be kept from you. If you must know, I despair because . . .
(Pause)
FRIEDRICH: Yes?
VERONIQUE: Because of God.
(GOD peeks out from behind a nearby [decrepit] tree and glares at VERONIQUE. She sees him and scowls back.)
VERONIQUE: Go away! Filthy deity!
(GOD hides behind tree, but sticks his head back out to observe VERONIQUE when she isn't looking, frowning all the while.)
VERONIQUE: (To FRIEDRICH) You see what I mean.
FRIEDRICH: Ja.
VERONIQUE: All the time He is spying on me! And if He catches me committing any infractions do you know what He does?
FRIEDRICH: I do not.
VERONIQUE: He tells my mother.
(She looks behind her at the tree. GOD immediately ducks behind it. VERONIQUE spits in his direction.)
VERONIQUE: Pig.
(A DOG wanders in. It sniffs around on the ground, barking occasionally. It starts walking around in circles, looking for a place to lie down and nap. A SHADOWY FIGURE appears and points ominously at the DOG. Two PILOTS moseying by and each carrying a loaf of French bread are suddenly caught in a trance as the FIGURE points, and they walk zombie-like to the DOG. They stand on opposite sides of it, and it looks at them with curious interest. They each take one blow at its head with their bread, and the dog promptly dies. The FIGURE lowers his arm and the PILOTS are broken from their trance. Shamed by their actions, they run from the stage in tears. This entire part [the part in parentheses] is done in a manner suggesting heavy symbolism. FRIEDRICH and VERONIQUE, who have been watching the scene, turn back to their meager meal.)
VERONIQUE: Tragiqué.
FRIEDRICH: Quite.
(They simultaneously take a sip from their wine.)
BLACKOUT.
(In the dark THIRTEEN MEN IN CHECKED SHIRTS run back and forth across the stage, moving things. Noises of feet shuffling and pieces of furniture scraping across the floor drift in to the audience. This continues for ten to fifteen minutes.)
THIRTEEN MEN IN CHECKED SHIRTS: (in unison) MY LIFE?!
SCENE II.SORROW
(The lights turn on. A generic European street. Stage left is a small café surrounded by a fence overgrown with thorns. Stage right is a factory, perpetually churning smoke out its smokestack. Upstage is a large crow on a signpost. The signpost [rotated 45 degrees from SCENE I] reads "PARIS 181 BERLIN 92 GENEVA 255 MADRID 16 MOSCOW 4" with each city name pointing in a different direction. The whole stage is lit in a harsh, unpleasant yellow light. A light fog gathers above the café. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, the yellow lights dim all around the stage except for over the café, where they brighten. FRIEDRICH IMMERDUNKEL and VERONIQUE DES LARMES are seated at a table, smoking cigarettes and drinking cheap wine. THIRTEEN MEN IN CHECKED SHIRTS are standing across the back of the stage in various unnatural positions)
(FRIEDRICH lets out a deep sigh of pain.)
(The light over the café dims. The light over the factory brightens, revealing JUANITA LAVIDACHUPA holding a long broom, sweeping Deutschmarks back and forth across the floor in front of the factory.)
JUANITA LAVIDACHUPA: Why do I sweep?
(THIRTEEN MEN IN CHECKED SHIRTS enter from stage left, carrying a WELL DRESSED OVERWEIGHT DEAD MAN. The DEAD MAN is holding a gun to his chest. As they walk past JUANITA LAVIDACHUPA the DEAD MAN sits up and fires the gun at JUANITA LAVIDACHUPA's chest. The DEAD MAN lies back down.)
JUANITA LAVIDACHUPA: Repression.
(GOD dives out from behind the factory and in to the path of the bullet, stopping it before it hits JUANITA LAVIDACHUPA)
JUANITA LAVIDACHUPA: Oh, my secret burns at my soul like a wilderness fire.
GOD: I am dead.
JUANITA LAVIDACHUPA: As are the forest creatures in my soul.
(JUANITA LAVIDACHUPA starts to sweep again. The lights fade.)
SCENE III.
(The setting is the same as in Act I, Scene I. However, now a breeze blows in from stage right, fanning the factory smoke around. FRIEDRICH IMMERDUNKEL and VERONIQUE DES LARMES are still sitting at their table. The corpse of the DOG lies center stage. At another table in the café is seated ONE ROCK-AND-ROLL BAND, instruments at the ready for no apparent reason.)
(Two VETERINARIANS enter, one from stage left, the other from stage right. They see the DOG at the same time and dramatically cover their mouths with their hands. Simultaneously, they run forward to crouch by the DOG, each step marked by a triangle 'ting' provided by a BAND MEMBER.)
VETERINARIAN 1: Quelle horreur!
(VETERINARIAN 2 brushes one hand over the DOG and comes away with a handful of bread crumbs.)
VETERINARIAN 2: Oh, the pain! The pain! (He clutches his hand to his chest and looks upward for a moment.) It is dead.
(VETERINARIAN 1 bows his head.)
VETERINARIAN 1: To... die.
(The DRUMMER suddenly pounds on the edge of the ROCK BAND's table, and simultaneously a curtain of slim, metallic streamers cascades down to hang over the stage. The TRIANGLIST begins chiming on the triangle for all she's worth. The triangle chiming continues throughout the end of the scene.)
VETERINARIAN 2: In the rain.
VETERINARIAN 1: Bread and circuses.
(There is a CONTEMPLATIVE PAUSE.)
VETERINARIAN 2: Let them eat cake, for it crumbles easily and delivers not the death blow.
VETERINARIAN 1: Word.
(The TWO VETERINARIANS strike a momentary dramatic pose of exaggerated sorrow over the DOG's corpse, as the stage lights focus on the central tableau of men and dog. Another CONTEMPLATIVE PAUSE ensues. Then the lights return to normal, and the TWO VETERINARIANS rise to their feet, shake hands solemnly, and exit to opposite sides of the stage.)
FRIEDRICH: (to VERONIQUE) Another day, another soul passed on. Indeed. (He takes a sip of his wine.)
VERONIQUE: (contemptuously) It is his fault. (She jerks her head towards the tree.)
FRIEDRICH: As you say...
(VERONIQUE gives the tree a vicious glance, then stands up abruptly as the wind increases, blowing the factory smoke completely over the café. Soon, nothing can be seen but a center stage with the dog corpse, which is lit by a single spotlight.)
(GOD, looking annoyed and with smudges on his robe, enters stage right. He walks to the DOG and stands over it. Then, in a slow, dramatic movement, he reaches down...)
GOD: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, bread to crumbs. (He picks up a chunk of bread, and then exits stage left while eating it.)
(From the general area of the café comes a FURIOUS triangle trill as the lights fade.)
SCENE IV
(Inside the café. The PIANIST is sprawled across the top of his piano talking to FIVE WAITRESSES, striking yoga poses throughout his speech.)
PIANIST: I am not trying to seduce you. I am too cocooned in my own soul's struggles to devote my soul to anyone but my Muse, and what a harsh mistress she is indeed.
WAITRESS ONE: How tragic that you should neglect me because of my lowly status as a mere serving-girl. I am now depressed and shall speak no more.
(WAITRESS ONE covers her face with her apron and holds the pose.)
WAITRESS TWO: Your callousness has shattered my comrade's spirit. I am horrified and shall speak no more.
(WAITRESS TWO turns away from the audience, hiding her face in her long blond hair, and holds the pose.)
WAITRESS THREE: I have just realized that thought is all an illusion. I must contemplate this and shall speak no more.
(WAITRESS THREE sprawls across FRIEDRICH IMMERDUNKEL and VERONIQUE DES LARMES's table, spilling their cheap wine. She holds the pose, but the wine's dark stain is visibly spreading across her drab uniform.)
WAITRESS FOUR: I have no identity separating me from the rest of the corps of servers. I am a walking redundancy and shall speak no more.
(WAITRESS FOUR curls up in the fetal position on the piano bench and holds the pose, sucking her thumb.)
WAITRESS FIVE: I'm going to have an awful lot of terrible, tedious drudgery with the rest of them like that. I am lazy and shall speak no more.
(WAITRESS FIVE sticks her head inside the piano, dislodging the PIANIST, who falls. She holds the pose, but he rolls to the foot of an empty table.)
PIANIST: Once again I am abandoned to the myriad mirrors within my soul forcing me to contemplate my true self. I must express this through music.
(The PIANIST runs back to the piano and immediately starts banging on the keys, deaf to the cries of WAITRESS FIVE. SIX WAITERS enter.)
WAITER ONE: We
WAITER TWO: are
WAITER THREE: but
WAITER FOUR: pathetic
WAITER FIVE: replacement
WAITER SIX: slaves.
(The SIX WAITERS busy themselves about the room, taking care to avoid the frozen WAITRESSES. FOUR WOMEN WITH MATCHING SCARVES ENTER. The SCARVES are green, brown, and hot pink plaid.)
FOUR WOMEN WITH MATCHING SCARVES: We represent the soullessness of an increasingly homogenized society with no room for original thought or tasteful accessories. Pity us all.
(The WOMEN dramatically remove their scarves and cover the corpse of the DOG with them. Each of the WOMEN strikes a melodramatically overwrought pose after placing her scarf on the DOG. The BASS GUITARIST becomes prominent in the background, plucking out a tuneless melody.)
BASS GUITARIST: I am all angsty.
(The WOMEN EXIT.)
SCENE V
(In front of the factory. JUANITA is sweeping dollar bills into a large pile. A green spotlight shines on her. She stops her sweeping and begins reciting poetry.)
JUANITA: Outwardly I sweep, but inside I cry
For with woe is my heart full
For the secret I have hidden
In the bosom of my soul
(RUTHERFORD SADDEN enters. JUANITA, not noticing him, continues with her poetry.)
Just like children trick-or-treating
People do not see within
But for a glance that's only fleeting
They do not see the secret sin
RUTHERFORD: Juanita Lavidachupa, I did not expect to see you here.
JUANITA: Rutherford.
(They embrace poignantly and stoically.)
JUANITA: Where have you traveled, Rutherford Sadden?
RUTHERFORD: I set course from my native England out to the Netherlands. There I found despair and a lack of order. From there I traveled by train to Germany. There I found despair and a lack of chaos. From there I traveled by small cramped automobile to Greece. There I found despair and a lack of pathos. From there I traveled by foot to Canada. There I found despair and a lack of despair. From there I traveled by rickety æroplane to Mexico. There I found despair and a lack of love. Now I have traveled here, where I find not only despair and a lack of nonchalance but I also find my own contempt toward authority figures of all types.
(JUANITA and RUTHERFORD end their embrace. About halfway between the factory and the café, somewhere upstage of JUANITA and RUTHERFORD, a cylinder rises slowly out of the stage floor. JUANITA and RUTHERFORD remain frozen while it extends upward. Eventually, when the top is about ten feet off the ground, it stops. On top of it are two POLICE OFFICERS on either side of a second OVERWEIGHT DEAD MAN. The POLICE OFFICERS are facing, leaning, and pointing away from each other with their outward leg bent and on the edge of the cylinder, while the DEAD MAN is propped up by their inward legs. The crow on the signpost crows and flies away.)
POLICE OFFICERS: (Shouting in unison) Stop!
RUTHERFORD: (To POLICE OFFICERS) No!
POLICE OFFICERS: Right!
RUTHERFORD: You!
POLICE OFFICERS: Where!
RUTHERFORD: Will!
POLICE OFFICERS: You!
RUTHERFORD: Never!
POLICE OFFICERS: Are!
RUTHERFORD: Capture!
POLICE OFFICERS: Standing!
RUTHERFORD: Me!
(The POLICE OFFICERS leap from the cylinder. The DEAD MAN, no longer propped up, falls forward off the cylinder. About halfway to the ground, he abruptly stops and floats upward to top-of-the-cylinder-level. He slowly floats around the stage at this height for the rest of the scene.)
FRIEDRICH: (Shouting as loud as he possibly can, though the lights are still down in the caf頳et) FEAR! (He then slumps to the ground and remains there motionless for the rest of the play and does not move, even when the scenery changes, until every member of the audience has left the theater and gone home.)
POLICE OFFICERS: (To RUTHERFORD, who has not moved since he stopped embracing JUANITA) Sir, remain where you are!
RUTHERFORD: You cannot force me to submit to your will.
(The POLICE OFFICERS, plunged into despair by the realization that what RUTHERFORD said is true, shoot themselves dead. Two SMALL GIRLS walk onstage and drag the bodies away.)
JUANITA: Rutherford Sadden, I have a terrible burdening secret.
RUTHERFORD: I cannot hear it, for if I do I shall surely die.
JUANITA: Alas.
(From somewhere offstage, the crow crows.)
BLACKOUT.
SCENE VI
(Three drum taps are heard through the darkness, and a black light suddenly turns on, flooding the entire stage in nearly invisible light. TWO COOKS enter from the left side of the stage, each pretending to be rowing a small boat across the stage. All over their bodies there are small white circular stickers which glow purple in the light.)
COOK ONE: ICEBERG!!
(COOK ONE points towards FRIEDRICH as he yells)
COOK TWO: Frozen in an icy wind of deceit.
(The TWO COOKS pretend to crash in to FRIEDRICH and are pulled off the stage by TWO GIRLS. "A sea of despair" glows purple across one of the girls' shirts, and "An icy wind of deceit" is written across the other. A red light lightens a small area around the sign post, revealing JUANITA perched on top. She begins to caw, and the sign begins to slowly rotate. RUTHERFORD SADDEN strolls by, but stops and looks at the sign.)
RUTHERFORD SADDEN: If love were toxic radiation poisoning then baby, we would both be dead.
(CONTEMPLATIVE PAUSE. RUTHERFORD passes out and is dragged off the stage by a boy with "self doubt" written on his chest. JUANITA caws. All lights on the stage turn off, and the lights over the aisleways in the audience turn on. VERONIQUE stands in one aisle, while GOD stands in the other.)
VERONIQUE: I hate you.
GOD: I love you.
VERONIQUE: I will kill you.
GOD: I give you life.
(VERONIQUE and GOD scramble over top of the audience, kicking patrons in the head as they run towards each other. When they meet in the middle VERONIQUE punches GOD in the face, and GOD pulls at VERONIQUE's hair. They wrestle around on top of the chairs for nearly two minutes before they fall off the edge and in to the left aisle.)
GOD: You are now pregnant.
VERONIQUE: Damn you.
BLACKOUT.
ACT 1.2376
SCENE I
(The stage is fogged, and hardly any of the scenery is visible. The only areas lit are center stage, the part of the stage where FRIEDRICH is [still prone on the floor], and the signpost. VERONIQUE and JUANITA are sitting on FRIEDRICH, not looking at each other. RUTHERFORD is leaning against the signpost nonchalantly. The rest of the stage is black.)
(ONE SMALL GIRL suddenly does a ballet leap from stage right into the center stage spotlight.)
GIRL ONE: (yelling as loud as she can) THE TEMPEST!!
(ANOTHER SMALL GIRL suddenly does a ballet leap from stage left into the center stage spotlight.)
GIRL TWO: (also yelling as loud as she can) OF HUMAN!!
(A SMALL BOY, coming from the rear of the stage, does a somersault into the center stage spotlight.)
SMALL BOY: (also yelling as loud as he can) CIVILIZATION!!
GIRLS and BOY: (still yelling, at the same time) TRUTH!!
(The GIRLS and BOY fall to the ground. FOUR WOMEN WITH MATCHING SCARVES twirl onstage; three of them pick up one child each and carry them offstage. The other woman remains in the spotlight, as THIRTEEN MEN IN CHECKERED SHIRTS file in a line behind her. RUTHERFORD, JUANITA and VERONIQUE are still watching impassively.)
WOMAN: In the beginning.
MAN #1: Plato!
THREE MEN: (yelling at once) THE FORMS!!
WOMAN: It was the best of times, it was...
MAN #2: A DARK! and... STORMY! NIIIIIGHT!
WOMAN: The only emperor is the emperor of ice cream.
MAN #3: Oh Romeo, Romeo...
WOMAN: (flinging her scarf around dramatically) Quoth the raven...
THREE MEN: (at once) HALF PRICE OFF PANTYHOSE AT SEARS!!
WOMAN: To be, or not to be... TO SUBMIT to AUTHORITY.
RUTHERFORD: NEVER.
(The WOMAN and MEN ignore him.)
WOMAN: Because I could not stop for death, he kindly stopped for me.
MAN #4: Forty-two.
WOMAN: The Ramayana!
MAN #5: My daughter holds a melon to her... sssoft... cheek.
WOMAN: And it is...
MAN #6: Ever always is was yes.
WOMAN: (screaming) ALL FOR NAUGHT!!
MEN: (all, in unison) THE VOID!!
(The MEN scatter offstage in random directions, several leaping into the audience. The WOMAN pauses, gasping for breath.)
WOMAN: (barely audible) What an enskyment.
(The WOMAN steps backwards until she is obscured in the fog. The main spotlight dies, leaving the only lit areas on RUTHERFORD, JUANITA, and VERONIQUE.)
VERONIQUE: I am pregnant.
RUTHERFORD: Damn.
JUANITA: Hussy.
FRIEDRICH: (mumbles something inaudible)
(The lights dim, but just before they go down all the way, they come up again to full brightness.)
ALL ONSTAGE: EXUENT!
BLACKOUT.
ACT II
SCENE I
(A SOCCER MOM drives up to the café in her green minivan. The van door facing the audience opens, and eight COOKS get out; a ninth COOK cuts a large hole in the van's roof and climbs out through it. The COOKS busy themselves about turning a spit to which a TRAVEL AGENT is bound, though there is no fire beneath him.)
TRAVEL AGENT: Why must my transcendence come through cannibalization?
SOCCER MOM: (leaning out the window to address the audience) Why do I drive? Why am I the only constant in a van of transient passengers?
(The ROCK BAND leaves the café and piles into the van, except for the GUITARIST/VOCALIST, who leans up against the side of the van and addresses the SOCCER MOM.)
GUITARIST/VOCALIST: Because otherwise the fish would squeal, and you know that your mission is to prevent that from happening again. The ice cream emperor is still watching.
WOMAN FROM LAST SCENE: (offstage) THE ONLY EMPEROR IS THE EMPEROR OF ICE CREAM!
OTHER WOMEN WITH MATCHING SCARVES: (offstage, from the other side) WORD.
(The GUITARIST/VOCALIST gets into the van. The SOCCER MOM starts the engine and begins to drive off, but sticks her head out the window one last time and calls:)
SOCCER MOM: Oh, and congratulations, Veronique! It's a girl!
(The SOCCER MOM drives off. VERONIQUE swears.)
JUANITA: And now he has the daughter he always wanted, one I could never provide.
NINE COOKS: Hey! You always told us that we should always feel special because we were all children of God!
RUTHERFORD: (jerking his thumb at the COOKS) But he didn't build a religion around any of them.
JUANITA: Shut up or else I will force you to hear my terrible burdening secret and then you shall surely die.
RUTHERFORD: Damn.
(RUTHERFORD wanders off to examine the still-frozen WAITRESSES. VERONIQUE kicks FRIEDRICH in frustration. He does not move. Purple curtains fall, followed by indigo ones, blue ones, green ones, yellow ones, orange ones, and red ones.)
SCENE II
(A stage. Stage left is a curtain that hasn't been completely closed. Stage right is a stage light that has fallen and shattered. FRIEDRICH IMMERDUNKEL is slumped over on stage right, where he has been since Act I Scene IV. The lights are not on, and the people onstage are lit by flashlights shone on from offstage. Two SMALL GIRLS are sitting on the front of the stage with their legs dangling lazily over the edge. They are playing with Barbie dolls. One brushes her Barbie's hair and the other is trying to get her Barbie to stand up, which does not work very well with the feet shaped the way they are. While they talk they still only pay attention to the Barbies.)
GIRL ONE: Fear and terror are the only ways in which we live our lives.
GIRL TWO: Fear and terror.
GIRL ONE: Hopelessness and despair are the only ways we feel.
GIRL TWO: Hopelessness and despair.
GIRL ONE: And yet we are unable to do anything about it, unable to change it, unable to better our situations.
GIRL TWO: Inability.
GIRL ONE: Perhaps it is fate which causes our angst.
GIRL TWO: Fate.
GIRL ONE: And so we hide behind a mask. We create for ourselves an illusion of innocence and joy in order to delude ourselves into believing that we are not the victims of fear, terror, hopelessness, despair, inability, and fate.
GIRL TWO: Illusion.
GIRL ONE: We play here with our toys, striving to be as beautiful as they, and yet in the end we are really only working to delude ourselves into believing that we are not the victims of fear, terror, hopelessness, despair, inability, and fate.
GIRL TWO: Falsehood.
GIRL ONE: But beauty is an object never reached, a goal never attained, a desire never ---
(FRIEDRICH interrupts her.)
FRIEDRICH: (At the top of his lungs) DEATH!
(At this line the girls freeze in place. The lights turn on, and they are a very sharp yellow. A piano starts playing Dm chords slowly and ploddingly.)
FRIEDRICH: It is while we are on this Earth that we live and are filled with despair, knowing with terror that our death is imminent. But what then? What do we do when Death has captured us?
(A DRUG LORD enters the stage. He takes a quick hit of some sort of drug and then speaks.)
DRUG LORD: What does it matter? So long as we are alive we can make infinite amounts of money to spend on wine, food, nice houses, women, cars, cities, countries, drugs, books, and electronic devices for our own entertainment.
GIRL ONE: (Still frozen) Entertainment is merely a form of distracting ourselves from the bitter, malicious terror and despair that eat at our very souls each and every day until our souls are dead.
GIRL TWO: (Still frozen) Eating.
DRUG LORD: (Almost maddened with despair) No! It is true! Wine, food, nice houses, women, cars, cities, countries, drugs, books, and electronic devices are merely my form of distracting myself from the horror my life has become!
GIRL ONE: (Still frozen) Your life has not become a horror. It has always been a horror.
DRUG LORD: My despair, and the shock of discovering it, have turned themselves into anger. I shall now misdirect this anger towards the one who brought about my discover.
GIRL ONE: I would advise you not to commit a rash act, but it does not matter, as all acts are rash, and my death would only bring about salvation from my misery.
GIRL TWO: Salvation.
DRUG LORD: Very well. You raise no objection?
GIRL ONE: I raise none.
GIRL TWO: None.
DRUG LORD: Very well.
(He pulls a gun from his pocket and shoots the girl. She jerks forward with the force of the bullet, but then falls backwards.)
GIRL TWO: Bang.
(The lights dim, but before the stage goes dark they suddenly turn a very sad blue and shoot to full brightness. The DRUG LORD and GIRL TWO are frozen, and the lights are brightest on FRIEDRICH and GIRL ONE, who are still frozen in their death positions.)
FRIEDRICH: Welcome, child. You have chosen unwisely, for in death there is only more despair.
GIRL ONE: The despair would have continued whether I stayed alive or died. What reason would I have had to live?
FRIEDRICH: That is true.
(The lights go back to normal.)
DRUG LORD: What have I done? I have killed a small child. For this I am eternally cursed.
(He kneels in sadness. A SCHOOLTEACHER comes onstage.)
SCHOOLTEACHER: You are now pregnant.
DRUG LORD: Damn you.
(The SCHOOLTEACHER and DRUG LORD hold their poses as VERONIQUE DES LARMES and GOD stroll out and stand next to them. Everyone else sprints off of the stage.)
COOK ONE: April.
COOK TWO: Mai.
COOK THREE: Juni.
COOK FOUR: Juli.
COOK FIVE: August.
COOK SIX: September.
COOK SEVEN: Oktober.
COOK EIGHT: November.
COOK NINE: Dezember.
(An eerie blue light shines over the stage. VERONIQUE DES LARMES, GOD, the SCHOOLTEACHER, and the DRUGLORD stroll in to the café. The DRUGLORD and VERONIQUE DES LARMES each stand on top of a table.)
VERONIQUE DES LARMES and the DRUGLORD: It's time.
(Two buckets full of water are thrown from above the stage, one landing in front of VERONIQUE and one in front of the DRUGLORD. The lights change to a blinding red, so bright that the audience can't quite make out what's happening on stage. The lights dim to a more natural level, revealing that GOD and the SCHOOLTEACHER are gone.)
VERONIQUE DES LARMES and the DRUGLORD: Pushing.
(GOD rolls out from behind the table cloth covering the space under the DRUGLORD's table, and the SCHOOLTEACHER does the same to VERONIQUE's table.)
GOD: And on the 8th day, there was deception. Congratulations. Youre a mommy.
BLACKOUT.
SCENE III
(The curtains are completely closed, covering all of the scenery. The silver-metallic strips [the 'rain'] are down and draping over the stage. JUANITA is sitting on FRIEDRICH'S prone form, and RUTHERFORD is leaning against the signpost. Aside from these two areas of the stage, everything else is half-lit. JUANITA is holding an umbrella with all the cloth torn off, leaving her with just the metal struts, etc. RUTHERFORD is smoking.)
JUANITA: This rain pervades my life in ways you could never imagine.
RUTHERFORD: (blows a smoke ring in her direction, but it gets broken up by the rain-streamers)
FRIEDRICH: (muffled) Repression.
(JUANITA looks down at FRIEDRICH with a contemptuous look.)
JUANITA: What do you know of repression? You have but one slight woman seated on your back. I carry the entire upper class, and have since birth!
(JUANITA swings the skeletal umbrella upwards and twists it, wrapping some of the rain-streamers around it like one would wrap spaghetti around a fork. Once she has a thick pile of it on there, she yanks it and it comes free. She then stands up and folds the umbrella, allowing the 'rain' to slide up and pile on FRIEDRICH'S head.)
JUANITA: (stage whispering) Speak not of this, or I will . . . tell you my secret.
(The pile of rain shudders very slightly, and JUANITA stalks offstage. RUTHERFORD follows her every movement with his eyes, and puffs a smoke ring after she has left the stage.)
RUTHERFORD: Alluring... intriguing. The web she weaves... what a woman.
(RUTHERFORD puffs another smoke ring as the lights fade softly, and the THIRTEEN MEN IN CHECKED SHIRTS unfurl the curtains . . . )
SCENE IV
(The entire stage is now draped in white. The ROCK BAND is present and set up, the musicians continue to alternate turns playing single notes throughout the scene. JUANITA wanders onstage with her broom, but seems disoriented by the transformation of the stage and simply stands to one side, eyes very wide. FRIEDRICH is covered by white cloth; RUTHERFORD is standing just behind him, holding a single white rose.)
FEMALE VOCALIST: Fresh.
MALE VOCALIST: Barren.
(JUANITA seems to wake from her reverie and makes attempts at sweeping, but her broom only gets caught in the cloth. RUTHERFORD crosses to her, takes the broom, and hands her the rose instead.)
RUTHERFORD: Juanita, even if it means I shall surely die, I must hear your secret. I must lift that burden from you.
JUANITA: No. My pain is my own. I cannot simply push it onto someone else.
MALE VOCALIST: Reticence.
FEMALE VOCALIST: Pride.
(JUANITA reaches for the broom, but RUTHERFORD places it across the white lump that is FRIEDRICH.)
FRIEDRICH: Repression.
JUANITA: It's only a broom.
(JUANITA lays the rose across the broom on FRIEDRICH. RUTHERFORD reaches for her, but she shies away and hides among the band members. He sighs.)
FEMALE VOCALIST: Evasion.
MALE VOCALIST: Rejection.
RUTHERFORD: Despair.
JUANITA: Rutherford, I have changed my mind. I will tell you my secret.
(Without warning, the entire auditorium is pitched into utter blackness.)
ACT 2.376
SCENE I
(The scene is mostly back to normal, except that the factory and café are on the wrong sides of the stage, and the signpost is dangling upside down from a wire attached to something way above the stage. FRIEDRICH lies in the same place he was, but the setpiece for the factory hides him from the audience. GOD and VERONIQUE are sitting in the café at separate tables. THIRTEEN MEN IN CHECKED SHIRTS and FOUR WOMEN WITH MATCHING SCARVES are seated at various tables in the café, and a few of them are seated on the ground near tables. VERONIQUE is smoking a cigarette.)
GOD: The more you smoke the cigarette the sooner it is that your despair overtakes you with the shadowy hand of slow, painful death.
VERONIQUE: (Glaring at GOD) Tell me, would I be going to Heaven?
GOD: No.
(VERONIQUE takes a drag of her cigarette.)
VERONIQUE: Then I welcome death, as I will not have to be around you.
(A WAITER walks past with a coffeepot. VERONIQUE flags him down.)
WAITER: Oui, milady?
VERONIQUE: I desire a cup of herbal tea, no sugar.
WAITER: Certainly, milady.
MEN IN CHECKED SHIRTS: (Shouting at the top of their lungs) NO!
WOMEN WITH MATCHING SCARVES: (Shouting at the top of their lungs) NO!
(The factory doors swing open, and the remaining WAITERS enter through them, going to the café [everyone who enters in this scene, as soon as they reach the stage, goes to the café] The WAITER with the coffepot joins them as the factory doors close behind them.)
WAITERS: (Shouting at the top of their lungs) NO!
(The WAITRESSES enter through the café doors.)
WAITRESSES: (Shouting at the top of their lungs) NO!
(JUANITA and RUTHERFORD enter through a hole in the stage floor.)
JUANITA AND RUTHERFORD: (Shouting at the top of their lungs) NO!
(From the ceiling float the SHADOWY FIGURE, the TWO PILOTS, the TWO VETERINARIANS, and the body of the DEAD DOG.)
FIGURE, PILOTS, AND VETERINARIANS: (Shouting at the top of their lungs) NO!
(The NINE COOKS enter from the lobby of the theater.)
COOKS: (Shouting at the top of their lungs) NO!
(The TWO SMALL GIRLS, SMALL BOY, DRUG LORD, and SCHOOLTEACHER burst out from the ceiling tiles above the fourth row of seats and climb onto the stage.)
SMALL GIRLS, SMALL BOY, DRUG LORD, AND SCHOOLTEACHER: (Shouting at the top of their lungs) NO!
(The TWO POLICE OFFICERS enter from opposite sides of the stage, dragging the TWO OVERWEIGHT DEAD MEN with them [one DEAD MAN per POLICE OFFICER]).
POLICE OFFICERS: (Shouting at the top of their lungs) NO!
(The TRAVEL AGENT, SOCCER MOM, and ROCK BAND enter from behind the factory set, but not from the factory doors.)
TRAVEL AGENT, SOCCER MOM, AND ROCK BAND: (Shouting at the top of their lungs) NO!
(GOD and VERONIQUE forcefully rise from their seats.)
GOD AND VERONIQUE: (Shouting at the top of their lungs) NO!
(Everyone*** storms over to the factory. They march in time with each other and they all have their right hands thrust forward, palm out. When they reach the factory they start chanting.)
EVERYONE:*** (Chanting in unison at the top of their lungs) END OPPRESSION! END OPPRESSION! END OPPRESSION! END OPPRESSION!
(The SHADOWY FIGURE steps forward from the crowd and silently points at the factory doors. RUTHERFORD then steps forward as well. The crowd continues chanting while RUTHERFORD speaks.)
RUTHERFORD: (With his right palm still facing the factory) You and your dictatorship shall continue oppressing the masses no more! Down with the ruling class! Down with the ruling class!
(The crowd splits in two, going for the sides of the factory, chanting all the while. They all grab on to the edges of the setpiece. They count to three, some in English, some in German, and some in French. With each number they swing the setpiece. On three [drei, troi] they throw the setpiece down so that the back, which is merely unpainted wood, faces upward. Upon seeing FRIEDRICH, who is still completely draped in white, they all freeze in place and are silent. Finally, after about a minute and a half of complete stillness, the SHADOWY FIGURE slowly goes over to FRIEDRICH and unveils him. VERONIQUE drops to the ground, although she is not dead and continues to breathe. She is expressionless.)
FRIEDRICH: Despair.
(The lights suddenly turn a jarring red at the exact instant that everyone*** instantly and all together faces up toward the ceiling of the stage. After a second and a half there is a BLACKOUT.)
(5 seconds later the lights flash back on. Everything is the same, except the factory is standing again and the café tables are all overturned. The DOG is trapped beneath one, as is one of the OVERWEIGHT DEAD MEN. VERONIQUE is standing.)
JUANITA: This is what my life has become.
(JUANITA goes off stage to get her broom, and begins to sweep in front of the factory)
VERONIQUE: (Rushing at God and pointing her finger in his face, screaming) YOU did this, didn't you?!
GOD: I have no control.
VERONIQUE: (still screaming) I knew it the whole time! You are nothing but a fake idol!
GOD: That is not true. I do have power and a purpose, but only JUANITA knows of what it is. Not even I am sure.
RUTHERFORD: I disdain authority figures. Burn her.
(The air around the factory is filled with brown fog. A harsh orange light flickers over that side of the stage. The OVERWEIGHT DEAD MAN who isn't trapped under a table sulks off stage and skips back on holding a boom box, which he turns on. Old factory noises fill the auditorium.)
JUANITA: Please . . .
(JUANITA is interrupted by a burlap sack with "$ Ruling Class" written on the side hitting her in the back and knocking her to the ground.)
JUANITA: I finally understand.
BLACKOUT.
SCENE II
(The lights come up on the stage, just barely lighting it. No scenery is visible, but fog is swirling around the base of the stage. FRIEDRICH is still lying on the ground. Suddenly a strobe light starts flashing and ALL OF THE CAST*** start running across the stage back and forth, back and forth. Most take flying leaps over FRIEDRICH's prone form; although some step on him. As the rushing back and forth continues, a single spotlight lights the very front of the stage, where JUANITA and VERONIQUE are sitting. JUANITA has chains dangling from her fingers, wrapped around them almost like rings. VERONIQUE is smoking. The two women sit on the edge, kicking their feet back and forth slowly, ignoring the continual back- and-forth running over everyone else behind them.)
JUANITA: Now I understand. (She lifts her chain-draped hands up and shakes them as if trying to dislodge something distasteful.) Always I have been wedded to the ruling class! (She spits on the nearest audience member.) These chains... I am chained to them, they to me, and I am part of them by supporting them! All my life... (She trails off and shakes her hands violently, making the chains rattle loudly, but they don't fall off.)
VERONIQUE: (with bitter sarcasm) How awful for you. (She blows a long plume of smoke in Juanita's direction.)
(JUANITA stands up. The running masses behind her abruptly freeze in place and turn their heads to face her.)
JUANITA: (screaming) All my LIFE! These chains!
(The rest of the cast look at each other, shrug, and begin rushing back and forth again, unconcerned. JUANITA slumps slowly to her knees.)
JUANITA: And they don't care.
VERONIQUE: A bug. You are a bug. As I am to HIM. (She looks over one shoulder and points with her cigarette, tracking GOD as he rushes about with the rest.)
JUANITA: A bug... a spider! Trapped in these chains! A web! (She shakes her hands again.)
(RUTHERFORD suddenly breaks out of the rushing cast and approaches JUANITA with a suave swagger. He carries what looks like a teacup in one hand.)
RUTHERFORD: (to JUANITA) Baby, if love...
JUANITA: (rising to her feet and screaming) You're one of them too! GET AWAY! (She tries to scratch at him, but the chains prevent her.) The chains! THE CHAINS! (She begins sobbing and sinks to her knees, curling into a fetal position. The chains pool around her and over her.)
RUTHERFORD: (glancing at VERONIQUE) Your tea? (He steps over JUANITA and gives VERONIQUE the teacup.)
VERONIQUE: Quite.
(GOD breaks away from the running cast and walks over to VERONIQUE. He bows to her, extending an olive branch. VERONIQUE takes one dainty sip of her tea before emptying the cup onto GOD'S head. There is a loud explosion and a flash of smoke that conceals GOD; when the smoke clears, GOD's costume is lying in a puddle on the ground, the olive branch across it, and GOD himself has vanished. All action on the stage stops.)
VERONIQUE: At last you will no longer trouble me. Filthy deity.
(JUANITA has watched this in silence; the chains have vanished from her hands.)
JUANITA: Purpose achieved.
(VERONIQUE and RUTHERFORD look at her quizzically. The other members of the cast exit.)
JUANITA: Like all of us, his purpose was to serve in the deep black pit of turmoil, despair, and loneliness that is this lifetime until his death. So it was only by his death that he could complete his purpose.
(The OTHER CAST MEMBERS are now beginning to reappear onstage, one and two at a time, carrying cleaning implements.)
JUANITA: So go and sweep.
RUTHERFORD: I detest the authority you seem to be trying to exert.
JUANITA: (louder) So go and sweep until you die. All of you.
(Slowly the CAST MEMBERS begin to walk off the stage and into the audience, each hitting JUANITA with their brooms as they go. Finally, the SOCCER MOM hits JUANITA in the head and she slumps over dead.)
VERONIQUE: Tragiqué. C'est la vie.
(She picks up a broom and joins the other cast members in cleaning the theater as the lights come up.)
THE END
*** Except for FRIEDRICH, the TWO OVERWEIGHT DEAD MEN, and the DOG.